By Kaitlyn McNab
Waking up at 6 every morning.
Brushing teeth every night before bed.
Drinking five bottles of water a day.
Exercising three times a week.
These were all of my habits before I met you.
Then, in a flurry of kisses and city lights and long nights, you burst into my life.
Staying up until 2 AM every night on the phone.
Dancing on top of counters, sofas, and desks.
Lying in bed on Sundays murmuring, “I love you.”
These were all of my habits when we were together.
Then, in a flurry of furrowed brows and raised voices and ultimatums, you showed your true colors.
You yelled and you fussed and you stopped smiling so often.
Your eyes were dull in front of the city lights and we started having shorter nights.
Calling you once a day.
Reaching out to hold your hand.
Searching to make conversation.
Struggling to get you to laugh.
These were all of my habits when our connection began to crumble.
We began to disintegrate, pieces of our hearts falling, plummeting twenty stories below from the skyscrapers that peered over us as we fell in love.
Out of all the habits I’ve had,
once we began to fall apart,
loving you was the hardest one.
That’s all we were.
A short-lived habit.
I’m glad I broke it.